Example NLP Parts Integration – How to eliminate anger outbursts
Process – Stage 1 – Identify the problem
Firstly, I introduced my client to the Parts Integration exercise by explaining how this technique is very powerful to create harmony between parts of the unconscious mind so that their values are in alignment and how it can be useful to overcome bad habits, indecision, procrastination and all sorts of internal conflicts.
So, I asked my friend to think about that part of him that he is not happy with and how this situation is a problem for him.
He explained that he is sometimes short-tempered and impatient and how this “out-of-control” behaviour sometimes makes him regret things and hurt others.
I asked him if he is agreeable to eliminate this part of him today and explained to him that I will touch his arms gently before starting, to show him how to sit during this intervention. He agreed and nodded.
Start the Parts Integration process – Stage 2
He was now sitting, eyes closed and relaxed, with the palm of his hands facing the ceiling.
I told him to visualise this part of him who is short-tempered and impatient falling down from his left arm and to just have it sitting in the middle of his left palm, and to notice if that part looks like somebody that he knows?
He replied that he could see a picture of himself sitting in the middle of his left palm.
Then, I asked him to visualise the other part of him coming out through his right shoulder, rolling down his arms and letting it sit in his right palm, and to notice if this person looks like somebody that he knows?
He replied that he could see a picture of Samuel Jackson, the actor.
Stage 3 – Find the purpose
So now that he had the two parts sitting on his hands, I told him if he could talk first to the short-tempered and impatient person and asked him, what is his purpose for behaving in such a way?
He replied that he “doesn’t like to be confronted”, it is because of his stubbornness, inability to understand other peoples point of view and that he doesn’t like to see people getting “into his comfort zone”. He likes his solitude and doesn’t want anybody to infringe upon his territory.
I kept prompting the question until he arrived at a positive value and replied that he is “an achiever” and it is because of his desire to achieve results, goals and get things done quickly.
So, I asked him if I could talk to the other part now and just ask what his purpose is?
He replied that it has an admiration for people who are poised and self-confident.
Looking back at him, I asked him what purpose becoming as Samuel Jackson would have for him?
He replied that he will be able to “talk with wisdom and mindfulness” and that this is a personality trait he had always wanted to develop.
So, I asked him to realise how the intention of the two parts are somehow interconnected. They both have the desire to achieve something but it is only the vessel used to achieve the results, which is not the same thing.
Then I talked again, to the part that we want to join to the whole through this intervention and asked him what purpose he is serving and what is his intention?
He replied that his intention is to “achieve results and goals in his life through a poised and self-confident personality.”
Stage 4 – The integration
At this stage I noticed something… I asked him to notice now how his hands are moving together, gradually as he starts realising that both parts are there for him to become a poised and self-confident achiever in life and that’s not something that he cannot be.
I could see subtle changes in his breathing rhythm while he was reflecting on both parts (using my NLP sensory Acuity skills). I asked him to let his hands come together for that integration to take place and to bring his hands on his heart as an anchor sign whenever he would feel the conviction to do so before opening his eyes.
When his eyes were opened again, I asked him how he feels now about the initial feeling?
He replied that it has changed. He feels a state of awareness about this situation, a state that he hasn’t had before.
I then asked him to think about a time in the future when he might feel short tempered and impatient and to tell me what he will do in that situation?
He said he would have that picture of Samuel Jackson, his role model, in his mind.
I suggested that he always ask the question in his mind ‘What would Samuel have done in that situation?’ whenever he feels like he may be beginning to lose his cool.
I also suggested that he repeat this exercise for few days, on his own, first thing in the morning when he reaches the office for it to gain maximum impact on his life.
This was a good result from the NLP Parts Integration process.