First step to happiness – NLP

//First step to happiness – NLP

First step to happiness – NLP

NLP Communication Model

Have you ever wondered what makes you behave the way that you behave? What is it that generates good and bad feelings inside of you? What happens inside you so that one day you wake up and everything in the world seems fantastic and then the next day everything seems really depressing and negative?

Want to find out? This can all be explained by something that is known as the NLP Communication Model.

Take a look at the picture above.  Let’s say that this person is walking down the street, they are just walking along taking in the scenery. They are taking in the scenery by seeing things that are going on in the street, say cars parked by the side of the road. They are hearing things, like birds singing, touching things, for example the pavement under their feet and the air temperature on their skin. They will also be smelling various smells, and they will also be tasting things, like the fresh air.

Now they may not be doing all of these things consciously but their brain is registering it all for them anyway, and if they choose to pay attention to any or all of these inputs then they are able to do that.  Just stop reading for a minute now and just notice your environment, notice what you can see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

I’ll bet that you hadn’t noticed half of that before you stopped and did it consciously did you?

Anyway, this information is taken in by our imaginary NLP person through their eyes, nose, mouth, ears and through touch on various parts of the body. The information is collected in this person’s brain and it is placed through a filtering system.  The information is filtered based on, amongst other things, that person’s beliefs, decisions, attitudes, memories and values.

This filtering is basically taking the information that is being received and automatically reshaping it, interpreting it based on past experiences. So, for example our NLP man sees a blue car, blue is his favourite colour based on a decision that he made in the past and so the fact that he sees the car, his brain registers that it is blue and matches blue to being his favourite colour, this then registers as a picture and a feeling consciously with our NLP person.  The brain took the information, filtered it and represented it to them. This leaves our person with a what we call an internal representation and a memory of that instant.

As the car was blue this internal representation was probably a good one for this person and their internal representation may have resulted in them feeling happy, or at least slightly happier, this has altered their state slightly.

Since they are now marginally happier than they were NLP person may have a spring in their step, they may walk a bit faster and they may be smiling to themselves.  If this happens then seeing the car has changed their physiology.

So seeing the car produced an internal representation which was favourable since it was in their favourite colour (a past decision – a filter), this changed their state to one of increased happiness, and this produced a spring in his step.  If they really liked the look of the car, then they may walk over to have a closer look at it and if this happens then seeing the car has also resulted in some behaviour, altering their path to take a closer look.

If when they go over to the car the alarm goes off (another life event going in through the senses) this could register a warning with the brain based on a belief that they may get the blame for setting the alarm off, this will produce an internal representation, a state of panic maybe, and they may well run off quickly down the street feeling a bit hassled and breathless looking over their shoulder to see if anyone spotted them.

In this case the belief that they may get the blame resulted in the event being filtered into a negative internal representation, resulting in a negative state and evasive behaviour.  If NLP persons belief had been that car alarms go off all the time and the owner of the car will just stick their head around the curtain and turn it off with their key fob, then their behaviour may well have been considerably different and their resulting state and feelings may have been much better.

We can see from this example how our beliefs, values, decisions, memories and attitudes, all of which were generated at some stage in the past, affect the way that we feel and the way that we behave.  Since these things are accessed automatically by our brain it is always a good idea to make sure that the beliefs and values etc that you have support you now in the way that you want to live your life.

If you are generating behaviour in your life that you are not happy with, then it is because your filters are out of date with how you want to live your life right now, change your filters and change your behaviour.


This concept and a whole library of other topics are covered in depth in our NLP Training Courses and you can study NLP online at our NLP e-Learning portal.



One Comment

  1. Garry March 31, 2018 at 9:16 am - Reply

    A lifetime spent in constant turmoil, always seeking the pot of gold supposedly sighted at the end of the rainbow, reaching the destination was never enough. This was to be the one constant in my life, a lifetime of journeys but never taking the time to enjoy the scenery. The filters that have determined my internal perceptions of the world are at difference with my current desires, wishes and objectives, its hard to change a lifetime of cemented behaviour, the failures I have encountered are stronger than the successes, even-though the successes were more frequent.
    Why do the failures in life have the ability to shadow the success we have achieved, surely the combination of all those experiences determine who we are, even if we are able to suppress those negative aspects of our life, they are still part of our subconscious, acknowledging the negative drains you of energy, but its a necessary step if we are to change for the better. Changing your filters is not as easy as it first appears, like anything in life, it takes time and the motivation to want to change, your subconscious behaviors will always be knocking at the door, change your environment, make more friends, change your routine, change everything to change your conscious behaviour which will in-turn impact on your subconscious self. I’m on a new road, but this time I’m taking the time to look out of the window and adopt a new perspective, I don’t know were it will take me, as fore the first time in my life, I am not fixated on the destination.

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