Personal development and growing as an individual is all about trying new things isn’t it?  Well, no actually.

I accept the statement largely, flexibility of behaviour is very important, the Law of Requisite Variety being one of the presuppositions of NLP, however I have a problem with the word “trying”.

Do me a favour. Try to pick up a pen. Go on, try to pick up a pen now.


Did you do it? Did you pick up the pen? If you did then you were not trying to pick it up were you?!

If you say that you are going to try to do something then it sends mixed messages to the brain. “I’m going to try to go to the gym twice a week.” This implies that there is some flexibility in it for you. It doesn’t really matter if you only make it once this week because you are only going to try to do it.

When it comes to decision time, “I have some free time, do I go to the gym or not?” You’ll probably unconsciously remember that you allowed yourself a get out of jail free card and you’ll do something else instead, something that seems more important in terms of priority in the brain, like relaxing, or maybe eating.

“I’m going to try to learn NLP.”  What does this statement really say about your intention? You are going to give it a go and if it gets too hard going then you will bail out! It tells your brain that you do not have 100% confidence that it is either good enough to do it, or that you aren’t 100% sure that you want to learn NLP.

Either way, there is no commitment there. You will not do it, something seemingly more important will come along one day and that will be the end of NLP for you.

If you try to do anything, then you will not do it.

“I’m going to learn NLP.” Now, that sounds better doesn’t it?  It sends a clear and positive message into your neurology, into your mind.

Commit 100% to your personal development and growth, be flexible in your behaviour, keep what is working, DO your research and decide to  DO new things that you know will make a positive difference to you.