I thought about answering these questions and then wondered if I had asked them properly.

So I have a question for you. Is attraction the right word to use?

Maybe we should substitute the phrase “attracted to” with “drawn towards” and “frustrated and irritated by”

“Which type am I most likely to be drawn towards? Which type am I going to be least frustrated and irritated by?”

Attraction by personality and personality clashes

I had several personal relationships in the early part of my adult life that ended due to personality slashes.

When learned about personality types and the various behavioural and thinking based attributes for each type I began to realise how important a part they played in the break up of my relationships. They accounted for almost all the rows and disagreements that festered between us. I learned that certain behaviours come with certain types and actually, there is nothing wrong with those behaviours, they are just different to mine! This brought about a deep understanding for me. Maybe you are beginning to realise that too now?

I am sure that with the knowledge that I have now, I could possibly have salvaged one of those relationships. I also realised that if I knew what I know now (and have written about here) I would not have entered the relationship in the first place.

So, which type are you most likely to be attracted to?

The answer is one that is similar to yours. Many many studies now provide evidence that we are attracted to and like people who are like us. People with similar interests and similar preferences for how they spend their time.

People say that opposites attract, don’t they? That may be true visually and at first even from a difference point of view in terms of their personality. However in the end, if someone has certain parts of their personality that are completely the opposite to yours then things that they do and say will start to frustrate you and “irritate you”.

There may even be a number of dealbreakers for you.

Relationship Dealbreakers and Personality Types?

From my perspective (and fortunately from my wife perspective too), some one who is untidy would drive me up the wall! I’m just being honest. Someone who is always late also would frustrate me as I like to be on time.

In the P/J continuum people with a P preference are likely to be less punctual than people with a J preference. They may also have a tendency to be less tidy. Maybe not untidy, but tidiness will tend to be less important to them.

The I/E continuum is also quite important in terms of how people discuss things together (or not). Extraverts tend to want to discuss everything. They may find making decisions tricky without discussing them first. Introverts are the opposite. They like to spend time alone and they tend to just reflect on their decisions and the make them one their own.

Of course there are lots of other areas that you may wish to consider in terms of the earlier attributes to the types.

The T/F continuum is an interesting one. Like to talk about your feelings? You may have an F preference. How would it be if you were with someone who had a strong preference for thinking rather than feeling? They may not quite share your enthusiasm for talking about feelings!

I hope that you have found all of this interesting. Go ahead and do a test on our website at Excellence Assured if you haven’t already done so. It is free. https://excellenceassured.com/myers-briggs- personality-types/free-personality-quiz

Interested in learning more about personalities and behaviour? We have extensive sections on our NLP training courses related to this subject.